"Mistress, I'd like to explore cuckolding fetish with you, where I watch my wife with another man..."

I can't tell you how many times a wannabe cuckold has said this to Me and each and every time, they get the same response:

"That's not cuckolding. That's you being a voyeur."

Sadly; there are many myths surrounding cuckolding, mostly created by those who don't have a clear understanding of the fetish. I'm about to clear up those myths, so you can gain a better understanding of what it is exactly, and what it means to you. You WILL be surprised.

First and most importantly; cuckoldry is NOT about your physical sexual pleasure. It is a psychological fetish, which involves arousal from the mental anguish of your partner cheating on you with somebody better - and you consenting to her cheating and even complying with it. It's not swinging and it's not having a threesome.

CUCKOLDRY IS A FEMALE LED RELATIONSHIP.

Apart from the pre-agreed parameters & considerations, cuckolds don't get a say when it comes sexual play. She will likely choose an Alpha who is more dominant or better endowed, to ensure your full humiliation and psychological torture. YOU DON'T GET TO CHOOSE if she doesn't want you to. 

That's not to say you won't be involved to some degree, but certainly not in a sexual sense.

She may, if she feels you deserve it, permit you to help her dress for a date with her Alpha, or even do things like paint her toenails, run her a bath, pay for a make over, new clothes, a trip to the hair dressers etc. But in terms of your involvement in the date itself, that's where it ends. You have no place on the date itself unless she wants you to.

YOU DON'T GET TO WATCH.

Cuckolds will almost never get to watch during play. If she does want you to watch; it will be on her terms, i.e. with you in chastity and tied to a chair in the corner of the room or via live video stream. If she doesn't want you to watch, but still wants to humiliate you, she may lock you into chastity and allow you to HEAR what they're getting up to - be it via a phone call, or even playing in the next room. But you will never, ever get to see what is happening unless she agrees. It could also be the case where you have both decided that you are not to watch, in case jealousy kicks in.  Cuckoldry is NOT about your physical pleasure, remember. It's about hers. So while she's having the time of her life; you're aroused but staying frustrated.

YOU DON'T GET TO JOIN IN WITH HER.

The whole point of cuckoldry is that you are complicit in your partner's infidelity. You enjoy the fact that she's enjoying herself with an Alpha male and you get off on how it makes you feel to know she's enjoying herself with somebody better than you.  But you don't get to enjoy her. If you join in, you're not engaging in cuckoldry - you're simply having a threesome. You're completely left out of the equation, because you love the fact that your partner climaxes with a man who is your Superior. IF there is a bi-sexual element to play; you MAY be permitted to pleasure him before and after. But never her. 

YOU ARE NOT BEING REPLACED.

Cuckoldry requires trust, communication, honesty and consent. Both parties set out boundaries away from the actual play scene - rather like one would set the scene before any BDSM play.  At the end of play, you go back to being a loving couple until the next time she decides she wants to play. 

As a cuckold; you enjoy the fact that your partner is satisfying her sexual urges by having sex with another man. But that doesn't mean you stop being her partner. A relationship cannot ever be replaced by cuckolding. Why? Because without a relationship, there is no cuckolding. 

YOU ARE THERE FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT.

In a cuckold relationship; your arousal is further heightened when your partner TELLS YOU how much she enjoyed herself with her Alpha. She might talk about how many times he made her climax, why he was so much better, whether or not he was well endowed and particularly if he was bigger than you. She may even encourage her Alpha to take part in this part of the fetish, by having him tell you how much he loves sleeping with your partner. They will taunt you and tease you about what they physically gain out of the arrangement, and what you don't gain. THAT is where the psychological arousal comes it - masturbation for the brain!

BUT I GET TO "CLEAN UP" RIGHT?

Nope! Another common misconception of cuckoldry! You DON'T get to clean up where an Alpha has been - because that's you again, taking care of your own pleasure. It's about hers and her Alpha's. Having you "clean" her afterwards means you're just going down on her - satisfying a need for your own physical pleasure. Don't forget the golden rule - it's NOT about your body's physical needs. 

BUT JERKING OFF...WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?

Many think they will get to jerk off while their partner is enjoying themselves; which again completely distorts what cuckolding really is. In reality; you will only get to jerk off when and if she wants you to. But don't assume that you'll be able to have that release you crave. 

She may decide to put you in chastity on the evening of her "date", so you can be kept aroused and frustrated throughout. She may even keep you frustrated while she tells you all about the experience; how it felt, what happened, how big he was, how long it lasted. Or, she may allow you to jerk off during all of this, by denying you your climax. She may even choose to ruin your orgasm. But whatever she chooses, you won't cum unless and until she wants you to. You won't receive any physical pleasure unless and until she wants you to. She is in control of her own pleasure and yours! 

These are just the general rules, as you both need to communicate with what works for you., but for those who wish to engage in a cuckold fetish session with Me; ensure you have read ALL of this. If I think you're talking about it from a selfish, narcissistic point of view of "I want to see my girlfriend with another man", I guarantee I'll lose interest in you. 

However, if you can demonstrate that you know what the fetish involves, then yes, we can explore this. But remember - I'm the one in control throughout - and you'll receive your physical pleasure when and if I want you to....



 

Whether you're an Online Domme or offer real-time sessions; there is something ALL Dommes have in common - Kink & BDSM Ethics.

As I have repeatedly said before; when you are taking control of a submissive; you are personally responsible for their safety and well-being. You are also completely accountable when things go wrong, especially if it is as a result of your own ignorance or lack of moral integrity.

The most important part of being a Domme is understanding that in BDSM, there absolutely MUST be mutual consent. When engaging in power exchange activities, the line between abuse and play is a very fine one, and it is YOUR job to ensure you stay on the right side of it.  For those who are new into the scene, you may find your judgement clouded on this subject, which is why it is important to ensure you have received expressed consent rather than implied consent - and that you abide by it in all BDSM situations

While the use of safe-words is indeed a good idea; it is not enough to use the word "no", as a safe-word. A good safe-word is one which both parties feel comfortable in using, but is not related to a play session. For example; "whip" is not a good example of a safe-word. "Giraffe" is better. 

I personally use the traffic light system. Green for yes, keep going, Amber for go gently and slowly and red for stop! And once red comes up - the play stops - instantly.  And in the case where the play stops; aftercare and other support is delivered for the well-being of the sub.

But what other things should a Domme ensure She employs in BDSM play?

PROPER KNOWLEDGE.
It is vitally important that you are aware of the risks of any BDSM activity. For example; ensuring that electrics do not go anywhere near the heart, the correct place to use the cane - get it wrong and cane across the back and you risk ruptured kidneys. 

You should also understand that some activities have more risks that others. Use of poppers on somebody with heart, lung or circulatory problems can cause a serious risk to their health or even death. Sounding, if not done correctly, can risk a torn urethra and I don't think I need to spell out the dangers of incorrect use of breathe play. 

It is always a good idea to try out kinks on yourself before applying them to a sub - so both you and he know what to expect.

ENSURE A SAFE PLAY ENVIRONMENT.
Your play space should be free of any hazards such as open flames, fumes or insecure equipment. It is also essential that you are aware of your sub's physical and emotional limitations - don't engage in play which is likely to trigger a severely negative emotional response. You're not just responsible for their physical well-being. You're also responsible for their mental well-being. Take care of the latter, especially in your after-care and throughout their servitude.

RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY.
Rule number one in being a successful Domme. If they want to keep their vanilla life and alternative life separate then respect it. NEVER out their alternative life without their explicit permission. NEVER involve other members of their family without the explicit permission. NEVER involve family members under 18 - EVER. 

HONESTY.
Honesty is a very important factor in a D/s relationship. They should be honest with you. You must always be honest with them. Ensure there is a mutual awareness of hard limits. Never lie about the risks of BDSM activity, and don't agree to commitments you cannot honour.

DON'T INJURE THEM.
There is a world of difference between inflicting pain and causing injury. Always be conscious of your sub's desires & limits and stay within those lines. If you inflict unintentional or unwanted pain on a sub; you are not a Domme. You're a bully. 

DON'T BE THEIR EMOTIONAL CRUTCH.
While it is important to provide emotional support & aftercare; DON'T play the amateur psychiatrist. But do be prepared to advise them to seek professional help for any issues you are not qualified to deal with.

SEE THE EXPERIENCE THROUGH TO COMPLETION.
Every session should begin with what I like to call "pre-play care" - assessing your sub's needs, desires & limits, health, life and emotional issues and informing of any risks. Next is the actual BDSM play itself and finally is the after-care. After-care is not optional. You have a responsibility to ensure you give the care & support they need to come out of the play head space they went into during the physical session. This also includes physical care like attending to bruises, giving refreshment and even cuddles. 

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF.
If your own physical, mental and emotional health is not in a good place; then it risks showing itself in sessions. Take care of your own health and understand that  you are human too. It is perfectly acceptable to take a break, recharge and bring yourself back to stability. NEVER play when you are angry or depressed. 

Remember; a good Domme is an ethical one! 

Mistress WILL be available for online bookings over the Christmas break, just in case you need to escape from the mother-in-law, various repeats on the T.V and yet another chocolate.  The days I will be online are below. Please note; these dates are subject to change. See My Twitter feed for updates.


FRIDAY 21 DECEMBER - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM 
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM.

SATURDAY 22 DECEMBER - ONE WAY CAM & TEXT CHAT SESSIONS ONLY
1PM UNTIL 10PM.

SUNDAY 23 DECEMBER  - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM.

MONDAY 24 DECEMBER - NOT AVAILABLE.

TUESDAY 25 DECEMBER - NOT AVAILABLE

WEDNESDAY 26 DECEMBER - NOT AVAILABLE

THURSDAY 27 DECEMBER - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM.
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM - 7.30PM - 10PM.

FRIDAY 28 DECEMBER - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM.
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM  -7.30PM UNTIL 10PM.

SATURDAY 29 DECEMBER - ONE WAY CAM & TEXT CHAT SESSIONS ONLY
1PM UNTIL 10PM.

SUNDAY 30 DECEMBER - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM SESSIONS - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM.

MONDAY 31 DECEMBER - NOT AVAILABLE

TUESDAY 1 JANUARY - NOT AVAILABLE

WEDNESDAY 2 JANUARY - NOT AVAILABLE

THURSDAY 3 JANUARY - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM

FRIDAY 4 JANUARY - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM.
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM SESSIONS - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM.

SATURDAY 5 JANUARY - TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM SESSIONS ONLY
1PM UNTIL 10PM.

SUNDAY 6 JANUARY - 12.30PM UNTIL 5PM.
TEXT CHAT & ONE WAY CAM - 7.30PM UNTIL 10PM

NORMAL SESSION TIMES RESUME FROM MONDAY 7 JANUARY.

If you wish to book an online session during these times; you should click the link below:

http://www.thecristaldomme.com/sessions.html