Imagine if Mistress could physically tease you without being anywhere near you.
We can make it happen, boys!
If you have any of the Lovense toys, then the sky's the limit when it comes to driving you absolutely wild with vibration. Pop in the toy, log on to the app and Mistress will have Her fun.
I can tease you any time, any place, any way. Perhaps I'll give you a few short bursts to remind you of who is control of your pleasure. Maybe I'll give you extremely intense vibration while you try to stop those tell-tale facial expressions. I can even tease you during a webcam session, bring you close to the edge of explosion and watch you beg and plead for Me to finish you off.
Oh what fun it will be! Just think; you could be at work, minding your own business when suddenly, the Lovense starts to vibrate - and you'll have no control over how intense and for how long it will vibrate for. At the same time; if I think you're enjoying yourself too much, I can stop the vibration and make you go without.
It doesn't matter where you are. You might be walking around the grocery store and I'll suddenly have the desire to mess with you. The fact that you'll have to keep the moans to a minimum is an added bonus. Sure, you could pass it off as your phone vibrating, but how on earth will you explain the strange way in which you are walking?
The only time Mistress will not play with your pleasure is when you're driving or you're in a situation which may endanger your life or affect your relationship with your significant other.
The rest of the time, your ass is MINE!
So if you're ready to hand over total control of your pleasure to Me, then get in touch. I'm sure I'll have hours of fun at your expense...
LOVENSE CONTROL RATES.
Control during a webcam session - £1.20 per min.
Control outside of a webcam session £5 per hour.
All day control (during My available hours) - £30.00
Click the link below to discuss your requirements:
In My last blog entry; I talked about the dangers of using Paypal for adult-related transactions and the likely consequences of not heeding this advice.
I want to make it clear to those who dispute these facts - and they are indeed facts - that this advice is not based on hearsay. It's based on Paypal's terms & conditions as written on their website.
Paypal state as follows:
Physical Goods – PayPal allows U.S. only transactions for certain sexually oriented physical goods, such as videos, DVDs, magazines, or other products physically delivered to the customer. PayPal does not permit transactions for sexually oriented physical goods by users outside the U.S. To determine which types of physical goods to permit, PayPal considers these factors:
Other Prohibited Goods and Services – PayPal prohibits all account holders from buying or selling any sexually oriented goods or services involving minors or made to appear to involve minors, and any services for which the purpose is to facilitate meetings for sexually oriented activities. PayPal does not include sexual preferences or viewpoints as a factor to determine what this policy prohibits.
So what does the above mean? Well, let's break it down to the services Dommes including Findoms are likely to offer.
CLIPS & AUDIO FILES.
Many Dommes like to offer files such as clips to tease their subs and/or files featuring hypnosis or even simple messages to tease a sub further. These files will fall under the Digital Goods category.
CAM, PHONE & TEXT CHAT SESSIONS INCLUDING SKYPE, SNAPCHAT & KIK.
If you receive payment via Paypal for any online session using any of the above; you are again breaking their terms & conditions, because you are providing goods and services via digital means. This means that these sessions again fall under the Digital Goods category.
PHOTOS & TASKS.
Again; you are sending content via digital means, which means again, this falls under the Digital Goods category.
BUT WHAT ABOUT TRIBUTES?
Now, one could argue that based on what Paypal have said; it may not extend to tributes. Like many newbie Findoms; you could assume that a sub sending a tribute as a donation would be quite acceptable by the folks at Paypal...but you'd be wrong.
Since Paypal cracked down on transactions for adult-related services in 2003; citing high fraud rates; they actively began to watch out for those using their platform for this very purpose.
This means that there indeed, Paypal employees floating around social media & websites; seeking out those sex-workers who advertise that they accept Paypal as a payment method. This means that if on your twitter or instagram account; your have the word Paypal mentioned; their on to you and will take steps to lock your account - and when it comes to this particular breech; is a permanent lock - no more Paypal for you!
BUT I CAN TAKE PAYPAL ON THE QUIET, RIGHT?
Nope! All it takes is one disgruntled sub to report you to Paypal. It doesn't even have to be a sub who's got a grudge. It could be a troll who gets off on making life difficult for Findoms and takes great pleasure in reporting them to Paypal. This can and does happen. Think about those subs who have left bad feedback on cam sites, because they didn't get their own way. They will also make life difficult for you when it comes to receiving payment. Is it really worth losing ALL your money AND your account just because you thought you could bend the rules?
WHY DON'T THEY ALLOW ADULT-TRANSACTIONS?
Paypal don't have to give a reason why they don't allow adult-related transactions. It is simply their terms and you have to abide by them if you wish to use their services. Just like a sub has to abide by your terms, if he wishes to use your services. But there are many possible reasons why they have chosen to take this stance.
1. Adult-related business is considered to be high risk when it comes to banking. Many adult processors, including the ones you see on cam sites like AdultWork and Chaturbate; will have fairly high interest rates. In addition; those using them will have to jump through hoops to have an account with them.
A few years ago, adult payment processor PacNet was closed down by the US Government; due to allegations of fraud and money laundering. Those sites using PacNet found themselves stuck without a processor. This mean they couldn't pay their members until another processor was found. AdultWork alone, took several weeks to find one. During that time, they had a false start when the bank used as part of payment processing pulled out of the agreement; because they don't work with adult-related services. Many service providers ended up waiting up to a month to receive the monies they'd earned. Such is how difficult it is to find a payment-process in this business. Not only do you have find one which allows adult transactions; you have to find one which doesn't have a sky-high interest rate; which you would then have to pass on to your members.
2. As Paypal cited in 2003; there is a high risk of fraud when dealing with adult-related transactions, especially when it comes to digital goods. As if often the case in these circumstances; there is often no trail left when transactions take place, as is the case with the chosen processor of scam artists - Western Union. This means that if things go bad; it's not just you who is out of pocket, but so is Paypal. It's only right that they want to protect themselves from losing vast amounts of money due to fraud. Wouldn't you want to do the same?
3. Other criminal activities can fall under the adult-related transaction category. This includes money laundering, child porn, drugs, and various other criminal activities. If Paypal were to ignore this risk; they would be investigated by the authorities for facilitating such crimes - remember what happened to PacNet? Paypal don't want the same to happen to them.
4. Prevention of sex-trafficking is another possible reason for their stance on adult-related payments. As I've already mentioned; there is often no trail. This means criminal gangs trafficking men, women and children cannot be traced back. Sex-traffickers love it when they're under the radar - it means they can increase their activities. Paypal are only being responsible in ensuring they are not part of the sex-trafficking problem.
5. And of course there could be what is term as a "moral stance" on the issue. Simple prejudice against sex workers is always a possibility and something they may want no part of. We may not agree with it, but it is their choice. When they're handling your money; they have you by the short and curlies - you can't really argue with them.
6. While a payment processor may be adult friendly; the receiving and sending Bank may not, as was the case with Adultwork's first attempt to set up a new processor. The payment process means your money goes through several banking institutions as follows:
a.) Sender sends payment to processor.
b.) Processor sends payment to their bank.
c.) Bank sends to clearance centre of your bank.
d.) Clearance sends converted funds to your bank.
3.) Bank sends funds to your account.
At each stage; there are charges, which we talked about in point one. If any bank in this chain takes issue with adult-related finance; they will pull out of the chain. And the sender and indeed the processor has to go through the whole process of finding another adult-friendly bank. This can take weeks with the heavy paperwork and credit checks - and acceptance is not guaranteed.
In addition; Banks and financial services can change their terms at any point in time. This could be due to new government legislation, or an amendment due to economic climate. Think back to the financial crash of 2008 - many financial institutions went bust when the bottom fell out of the financial market. The crash had been coming for a very long time; because banks had been free and easy when it came to lending. Now banks are ensuring they protect themselves so they don't end up a victim of the next financial crash. And in these uncertain times, especially with Brexit; it could happen at any time.
To sum up; if you still insist on using Paypal, then you do so by your own risk. But don't attempt to dispute these facts. These are straight from Paypal themselves - and many other "vanilla" payment processors have the same stance. If your processor is part of Google, Paypal or Square - you can't use it. If you use it and your account is closed, then don't complain. It's not as if you haven't been warned, but by the companies themselves and those who know the situation.
There are low-cost adult-friendly means of receiving tributes out there - if you do your research and look for them. And you don't even need to do that. I've done it for you in My last blog entry. All you need to do is exercise a little common sense...
,If you're new to Financial Domination; you've probably been asking yourself this question. Maybe you've seen other findoms on social media posting details of the tributes they've received and you're wondering "why isn't it like that for me?"
Well it's simple. Findom isn't an exact science. Neither is it a get-rich-quick-scheme. Findom is very much a psychological fetish, which takes time and effort to learn and a lot longer to find those who have a genuine interest in exploring this fetish with you.
Let's cut through some of the myths surrounding this fetish and we start by you totally forgetting what you've seen on social media.
Financial Domination is NOT about sitting on twitter, calling subs piggies and demanding they pay you. If that is your approach to the fetish; then you're not going to last very long at all.
The tweets you see are not always genuine tributes - rather fees paid for a session, but masked as a tribute to look good.
Neither is it taking pictures of the intimate areas of your body and expecting subs to shower you with tributes. Why would they pay for something they've just seen for free? Treat them mean, keep them keen!
No, Financial Domination is much more complex than that but, if done correctly; can be both fun & rewarding.
The whole point of Financial Domination is about psychological control. If you are doing it right; you won't need to demand tributes. They will be given freely. Why? Because you have managed to have a sub become so captivated by you; they WANT to give simply to show their admiration. They are fueled by their desire to make you happy; and give without any form of encouragement.
So how do you get to this stage? Well, here's where the hard work starts.
RELAX - IT'S NOT A RACE!
Let's imagine you meet somebody on a night out. You think he's cute and he's giving you all the signals that he likes you. But when you start chatting, would you immediately expect him to move you into his apartment, marry you and have children with you? Of course not! You'd want to get to know him and have him get to know you; to find out if you are compatible.
You might go on a few dates to see where it leads. If it leads in a good direction; you'd start a relationship with them, still getting to know each other along the way - the good and the bad, before eventually, things get more serious and you start talking about moving in together and eventually marriage.
This doesn't happen overnight. A relationship takes a long time to build. It takes communication, trust, honesty and compromise.
The same can be said for Financial Domination.
It is completely unrealistic to expect a stranger you've never spoken to before, to part with his money because you say so. He wants to get to know you and see if the both of you click. You both need to establish a rapport and see if indeed, he is right for you! And yes; he needs to be able to trust you. There's a lot of scam artists out there and he may well have had his fingers burned. It's your job to prove you aren't going to do that to him.
That's not to say your attention should be free. There is absolutely nothing wrong with expecting payment for online chat, webcam sessions, phone chat sessions etc. But understand that these are fees - he's paying for a service. He's NOT sending tributes.
Remember; tributes are gifts given freely, without expecting anything in return.
Fees are payment for services.
But; if he's not even prepared to pay for a session with you, no matter what type it is; walk away - he's not entitled to any more of your time for free.
However; if you find yourself having regular sessions with him, and even chatting casually on social media outside of sessions, that's where the building blocks of the relationship are laid. You're finding yourself casually chatting on social media (non sexual, i.e not what you would discuss in session), he's retweeting your tweets without being asked to do so, and the relationship is flourishing. He's doing things to please you - like posting humiliating pictures of himself and tagging you in them. He's doing all these things for one reason and one reason only - for your approval.
Once that happens, and happens with regularity, the chances are you'll find the odd tribute heading your way - and you won't even need to ask him. He'll do it willingly and freely, simply because he wants to please you.
All you've done is communicate, tease him & created a professional relationship with him - by being yourself. And now, he's hooked.
So how long does it take to form this type of relationship with a potential financial sub? My answer to that is; how long is a piece of string? It could take weeks, months even years. But it WON'T happen straightaway. It will take as long as it takes and if you attempt to rush it, or demand tribute before you have gained your submissive's trust; you won't see them for dust. Remember what we said about a marriage proposal before the first date? Yup; it's gonna scare anybody off.
To give you an insight as to how long it can take; I was practising Financial Domination for over a year before I found My first financial sub. I've been in the scene for 10 years - and in that time I've had 4 genuine financial subs and a whole lot of potential timewasters. I say "potential" because when it comes to sessions; they get a big fat nothing until and unless they pay the fees up front. If they don't pay, I forget they exist and never engage with them again.
I'VE HAD SO MANY TIMEWASTERS CONTACT ME! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
And that leads Me on to My next point - how to avoid the timewasters and even more importantly; how to ensure you're not a target for timewasters!
Those who post regular "pay for My dinner," or "I need to pay my rent, pay me now!" scream desperate. And timewasters know this. They approach; promise to pay ridiculous amounts of money then vanish. They do this because they get off on the idea of you getting into a state because you've been promised cash they have no intention of sending. Indeed; timewasting has become a fetish in itself. I shall point out that a Domme who can't afford to pay for her own dinner or pay her own rent, is not in control of her life. This isn't attractive to a potential sub.
By all means; tweet a tribute link and invite subs to contribute. But don't demand it. You will come off as desperate and timewasters love this.
Another tactic is for them to send messages and tweets to multiple Dommes. Check their timeline - is it full of "hey miss, follow me"? If so; avoid. They're looking for free attention without the paperwork.
And of course there's the boys who want to pay via Paypal.
I cannot stress this enough. NEVER EVER EVER OFFER PAYPAL AS A PAYMENT METHOD - EVER!!! Be it for tributes or fees; it's simply not worth it.
Paypal clearly state in their terms and conditions that they do not allow transactions for adult-related services. Financial Domination is still sex work - therefore it is adult-related. If Paypal find out, and they will, they will close your account, take any money you have in your account and you can NEVER have an account with them again. There are plenty of adult-friendly means of receiving payments and tributes from subs - Paypal isn't one of them.
And of course; payments can be reversed on Paypal. Imagine the scenario - sub sends payment for a skype session - you do the session, then log in to your Paypal account to find he's clawed the money back. The upshot is, you've given him a free session. And THAT'S why the timewasters love Paypal.
This can and does also happen with Amazon Gift Certificates - so always redeem first. I shall point out that Amazon isn't always sex-worker friendly, so exercise caution when using them. While we are on the subject of Amazon and wishlists - NEVER accept a gift as payment for a session, particularly if from Amazon - gifts can be and are cancelled by timewasters.
Finally, on the subject of timewasters, trust your gut. Remember; if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This means that if you get sub who claims he wants to give you £1000 or have you rinse his credit card; he's on the con. Genuine subs don't offer - they give. Timewasters dangle tributes like a carrot on a string. Don't bite - they're not going to part with that cash.
So; you've established a strong relationship with your sub and the tributes & gifts are coming in. Now is the time to show YOUR appreciation! ALWAYS thank them - yes, I know it goes against the grain, but they are human beings just like you. They've parted with their hard-earned cash. The least you can do is be grateful! Post a picture of their gift and thank them. Shoot a clip of you wearing any clothing gifts, and mention them - make it a FREE clip too! If it's a gift card - send a simple thank you note. BE NICE! If they know they've made you happy; they will tribute again. Treat them like dirt, and they won't - unless they like being treated like that of course - which they will be keen to tell you. A simple thank you message, tweet, or clip costs you nothing. But it will mean the world to them.
DON'T BE GREEDY.
Like you; a sub has financial responsibilities outside of the scene. He's NOT going to risk his home and go bankrupt, because you expect it. And if he's prepared to, then you shouldn't be prepared to allow that. Debt is not exciting and neither is being homeless.
Remember; you are a luxury in his life. He pays you after he's paid the bills he needs to pay - the essentials he cannot live without. Telling him not to pay his mortgage because he needs to pay you is not only irresponsible, it's also unrealistic. How's he going to keep paying you if he doesn't have an internet connection, mobile phone, debit card or even a home? Think about it - he can't give you anything if he has nothing.
While it is unreasonable to expect your sub to sacrifice his essentials; it is NOT unreasonable to expect him to sacrifice luxuries like a trip to the cinema, those new trainers he's had his eye on, or a night out with the lads. Wants and needs. He NEEDS to pay his bills, but he WANTS to pay you AND enjoy a night out. One of those wants has to go. If he's devoted enough; he'll sacrifice the night out. If he doesn't then don't worry. You're just not quite there in your relationship, yet.
Be responsible. If you get the slightest suspicion he's heading for financial disaster, that's when it stops being fun. And when the fun stops; STOP! He will have the greatest respect for you, if you refuse his tribute because you know he really cannot afford it. If it's a blip; he'll likely up his tribute when he can afford to. If it's more serious, he will still be loyal in other ways. Ex-financial subs can be of use in graphic design, promotion, clip editing....especially if you have a lot of mutual trust between you.
Remember; home-wrecking might be fun in a fantasy sense. But in reality; people in debt are at a greater risk of suicide - do you really want that on your conscience? YOU are responsible for your sub - 100%. If he's in "sub space" he may not be able to make a responsible decision about his desire to give, at the risk of his financial situation. That means the onus is on YOU to spot the signs.
ALTERNATIVES TO PAYPAL
As I've already mentioned; there are many ways to receive payments and tributes, without risking your Paypal account. Keep that account strictly for your vanilla life.
NiteFlirt is a good place to receive payments - yes, they take commission, but your money is safe and can be paid by bank transfer or cheque.
Delivery Code is a good one too. You can receive payment in the form of gift voucher. You then have the option of using it to purchase items from your wishlist, or having it converted to cash and paid into your bank. The added bonus of Delivery Code is that they do not allow cancellations - so no danger of gifts or vouchers being cancelled.
WebstreamUK is a very adult-friendly payment processor - you can receive payments in the form of donations, as well as offer phone chat, webcam session, clips and pictures, AND get paid by bank transfer. There are no fees to set up. All you need is a good established website.
https://iwantclips.com/ is another adult-friendly site, where you can sell clips, pictures and receive tributes. Payment is monthly or bi-monthly (depending up on amount earned) by ECheck or Wire transfer.
So in conclusion; if you're smart, patient and prepared to put a lot of time in researching Financial Domination AND the BDSM scene, you'll do well. If you're expecting to be inundated with tributes from day one; My advice is to get your head out of the clouds and come back down to earth. I've seen one girl give up her vanilla job the moment she became a Findom - and then wondered why her bank account was in the red. Don't expect this fetish to be your sole source of income - unless you've got it down to fine art, after many years of experience. Good things come to those who wait!
You've probably noticed that My days on cam are rather sporadic at the moment, and it's circumstances beyond My control.
Since My upstairs neighbour has moved out; his flat is having to be refurbished rather extensively - to bring it to a standard where it can be let again - yes; this is what happens when you fail to maintain properties to a good standard. You have to spend lots of money all at once. That's landlords for you!
This means there's lots of heavy machinery making a horrendous noise 5 days a week. Lovely!
And on top of that; there's work going on on the outside of the property too! With the entire house being surrounded by scaffolding. Those using the scaffolding are not only foghorns when it comes to holding a conversation with each other - they're also bloody nosey. No way are they having an ear wig at what I'm doing to My subs.
And today and tomorrow; the external woodwork of My flat is being painted. I found this out today. No 24 hours notice as I'm supposed to have. Nope. I go outside and they're painting the window frames and doors with "can you keep your door open?" being grunted at Me.
So not only do I have to sit and listen to drilling, hammering, foul-mouthed builders and some god awful singing (yes really!), I now have to sit in the freezing cold because all the doors have to be open.
Not good conditions for camming. You boys won't thank Me - especially when you hear the sound of them singing - strangled cats sound better.
For those who were hoping to session with Me this week, I can only apologise. I'm as frustrated as you are and I'd give My right arm for them all to bugger off and let Me get back to normal.
But rest assured; as soon as they've all pissed off, I'll be back to normal camming hours - and the stench of paint. Fab!
Have you missed seeing My cloven hooves on cam? I know a few of you have . In fact, a few of you have been rather inconsolable since I was forced so suspend foot worship sessions.
Well, boys! I have very good news for you! Foot Worship sessions are BACK!
From Thursday 25 October; you will be able to book a session to worship My epic claws. You will see them from a sub point of view - which means your eyes will be at the lowest part of My body, seeing My delicious feet in all their Superior glory.
You'll be able to drool over the sight of My pretty toes, red painted toenails and the sexy toe rings I have on each foot.
My wrinkled arches and soft heels will be available for you to stare longingly at, while I guide you in exactly how I want you to worship them.
Prefer to worship heels and boots? That will be available too - thigh boots, platform boots, boots with a pointed toe, peep toe heels - all available for your fetish delights.
Stockings, tights and even socks - clean or dirty - available for you to imagine sniffing and licking. Maybe even wellington boots if I feel you are worthy of such a treat!
So get ready to work hard at worshipping My trotters - you'll be expected to be thorough in your reverence. My feet are truly beautiful, and deserve the utmost respect and devotion!
One of My favourite parts of BDSM & fetish has to be control. I am addicted to controlling weak bodies. I'm also addicted to controlling weak minds.
It's so easy to take over the mind of a weak specimen. All I have to do is ensure you are completely relaxed and within minutes; you'll be in a deep trance, totally submissive and extremely susceptible to any erotic & humiliation suggestions I make.
You will be compelled to do whatever I feed into your subconscious mind, no matter how degrading or humiliating, altering your state of mind until you find it is impossible to escape from My control.
I have many erotic hypnosis files available for you to enjoy and surrender to; from sissy training, forced bi, embarrassing triggers to ensure you keep your hands firmly away from what does not belong to you
to completely brainwashing you to ensure that the only time you are aroused, is when you are submissive.
Whatever the subject matter; I'm guaranteed to have something perfect for you.
Once My soothing voice sends you into a relaxed & comfortable trance; I will awaken the feelings and desires hidden deep within your subconscious, and bring them fully into your conscious mind. Your inhibitions will be completely annihilated, which will allow you to fully explore those desires, without fear or hesitation.
Are you ready to explore a true sexual awakening? Click the link and start an erotic journey into the submissive secrets of your own psyche...
Fancy dipping your toe into the erotic world of BDSM & fetish, but too nervous to make that call? Why not drop Me a discreet text instead!
Find out if the world of kink is for you, with a kinky text chat with Me on NiteFlirt. Kink advice, fantasy exploration, fetish games and mind-blowing BDSM fun that will have you addicted in minutes!
Whether you're a kinky newbie or a seasoned kink-monster; I guarantee a warm welcome as I help you to open your mind beyond the constraints of the vanilla world. Enjoy the freedom to explore and broaden your sexual horizons as you begin your journey into the realm of fetish.
No vanilla. Just pure, unbridled deviant filth and enrapturing erotica!
Those who are regular to serving Me will know that I've had horrendous problems with My spine for a couple of years. This has prevented Me from offering certain services, including foot worship shows. It's also rendered Me almost housebound due to being in chronic pain.
For those who don't know; a couple of years ago I injured My back whilst doing some heavy gardening. This led to a herniated disc in My lumbar region with constant sciatica in My right leg.
If you've never experienced sciatica before; let Me tell you that it is extremely painful. It's a constant dragging ache from the buttock all the way down into the foot, with intense spasms of shooting pain at frequent intervals. It's very debilitating and affects daily life, making even the simplest of tasks like getting dressed, very painful. Taking a shower becomes a mammoth task and as for walking normally - forget it! It's not happening.
Over the last 2 and half years; I've been prescribed countless painkillers which have done nothing. I've had 4 sessions of physiotherapy which actually made the situation worse. In the end; I was referred to a pain specialist, where I begged him to do something to get rid of the pain I've lived with for several years of My life.
Yesterday; I had a steroid epidural injection and a caudal nerve root block, in the hope that it would finally get rid of the pain and give Me back My life.
I have to say; the ESI was a breeze. Apart from the stick, sting and a burn of the local anaesthetic, I didn't feel a thing.
Then came the caudal nerve block...
Oh... My..fucking...God! I was NOT prepared for that one. In the literature I've received about the procedure; it proudly states that "most patients are able to tolerate the injection, with minimal discomfort."
What a load of utter bollocks!
Imagine having a ten-tonne articulated truck parked on your pelvis and you might get an inkling of just how much that shit hurts.
As soon as the shot hit that nerve root; I had been transformed from a "yeah, bring it on" cool as a cucumber patient to a "fucking get off me before I punch you in the throat" patient!
Two minutes of pure agony which seemed like 2 days. Imagine the pain of having somebody drilling into your tailbone and yet you have to remain completely still. Rather difficult to say the least.
"Would you like to squeeze somebody's hand?" the consultant asked to which I replied, "fuck yes!"
And boy did I squeeze!
In my painful delirium, I squeezed so hard, I'm surprised I didn't hear the poor lady's fingers snap, an indication of the crushing pain in My entire pelvic region.
"You're doing really well...not too long now" I was calmy informed by the consultant. Meanwhile; I've broken into a sweat and I've clenched My jaw so tight; I ground My teeth into powder.
After what seemed like several lifetimes later; the all whole process was done and I lay there panting in disbelief as I reminded Myself to never again believe any medical literature about any procedure being "well tolerated."
An hour later; I was back at home and over the space of literally 10 minutes; I felt the constant pain I'd experienced in My right leg fade until it had disappeared completely. Success! That feeling of being under a steel press was definitely worth it!
So now; I'm enjoying being relatively pain-free, apart from some residual pain in the injection site. And I shall enjoy it for as long as it lasts. It could be a day, weeks, or even a fair few months. It doesn't matter - I intend to make the most of it.
I shall enjoy doing the things I haven't been able to do for almost 3 years - like a walk down to the local shop for a pint of milk. Sleep in more than one position. Enjoy a full night's sleep without waking up in agony several times. And wear heels for longer than 10 minutes.
So to anybody who's having a caudal nerve root block; I say this to you. It's definitely worth it if it works for you. You will feel like a new person.
But for the love of God; don't pay attention to those who say "oh it's a breeze. You won't feel a thing!" They're fucking liars! If somebody with a very high pain threshold is transformed into a shaking, sweating mass of agonised groaning; then trust Me, that shit HURTS!
Next time; Mr "oh you're doing well...we're almost done" can knock Me the fuck out BEFORE he shoves anything in My back!
Oh and I apologise to My partner who was chided with "I'm not going over the top" when he wished Me luck....how wrong I was!
If you're new to the BDSM scene either as a Domme/Dom or sub; you may well have heard the term "aftercare" being banded about a lot. And today; that's exactly what we're going to talk about.
Aftercare is a very important part of any BDSM scene and is something you should never neglect. Your submissive is a living, breathing human being with thoughts and emotions. When they submit to you, they are showing themselves at their most vulnerable, and it is very important to ensure their physical and mental well-being is maintained before, during and especially after any play.
Physical aftercare can include a multitude of different things. For example; if you have given your sub a good caning, it is important to help the skin to heal even if you haven't broken the skin. The application of a soothing body lotion can help those buttocks to heal quickly and comfortably, especially if your slave has explicitly asked for you not to leave any marks.
It can also include the application of first aid in the case of cuts to the skin. Ensuring any wounds are cleaned and dressed, with instructions of how to maintain wound cleanliness and prevent infection. A form of aftercare I administer regularly; is the prevention of adverse reactions to nettle stings, if I've engaged in a nettle torture with a sub. Just because My sessions are online, doesn't exclude Me from giving out any sort of aftercare. If I don't ensure My sub receives the care needed to prevent adverse allergic reactions, I could actually be risking their lives.
So I advise them to take antihistamines and to apply calamine lotion to the areas of their body which have received nettle stings. The last thing I want a sub to do is go into anaphylaxis and end up being rushed to casualty as result of our play.
But aftercare isn't just limited to physical care, and it is very important to remember this.
During an intense BDSM session; your sub will experience extremes of emotion, which will change rapidly as the session progresses. This is because the act of being dominated sexually can cause the body to release a variety of different hormones and neuro-transmitters, in large bursts. Think about the "high" you get when you have an orgasm. That's the sudden release of serotonin. As the afterglow fades; you find yourself coming down from that high. That's the serotonin coming down after the peak. You may find yourself feeling weepy, low, and even guilty.
This is exactly what happens in a session. Some subs become so overwhelmed by the surge of hormones and endorphins, that their emotions may change dramatically. They may become tearful and depressed. They may start to suddenly tremble from the adrenaline rush. They may feel very fragile emotionally and physically. They may feel physically and emotionally drained. They may even find their emotions in a place they don't like - particularly in the case of a humiliation session.
It is of vital importance that you take care of your sub during these times. Cuddle them, tell them how happy you are with them, stroke them, treat them with gentle kindness - be HUMAN with them. Offer them a drink. The adrenaline come-down can often lead to a drop in blood sugar. So a cup of tea and a biscuit is essential to take those sugars back up again.
Many ProDommes will ensure all parties have tea after the session, as they debrief. It's informal and relaxed. Both Mistress and sub sip their tea, as they discuss their feelings about the session. This practise also helps strengthen the bond between you and your sub.
If your sub feels the need to be alone for a little while, then give them that opportunity. Just some time to lie down and take stock. But don't leave them entirely alone. Keep checking on them, to make sure they are okay. If they want to talk about their feelings, let them. If they start to cry, hug them. Provide the comfort they need, for as long as they need it.
One of the greatest misconceptions about BDSM is that it is all physical. In actual fact, BDSM is 10% physical and 90% psychological, because it can evoke so many strong feelings, thoughts and emotions. If your sub is not in the right "head space" for a session, then you risk causing some serious emotional harm. So be intuitive. If your gut feeling tells you "okay, this sub is not in the right place for this, now," then listen to that gut feeling. Don't force them when they are clearly not in the right frame of mind to play.
Pay attention to triggers as well. For some subs; certain BDSM practises and scenes can trigger emotions once felt in some past trauma. Be prepared for that and watch out for any signs. The moment you suspect traumatic emotions have been triggered, STOP. NEVER CONTINUE A SCENE if your sub is struggling to cope with it on an emotional level. If they need to put a halt to things, pay attention & stop. The play should be fun - not soul destroying.
I'm not suggesting you should become an amateur psychologist in these circumstances. Simply listening as they vent out their feelings, can be an enormous help. Providing links to further help, can also be of huge benefit.
Whether new or seasoned; aftercare in BDSM is never open for negotiation. Your sub has the right to be looked after before, during and after play. And you have a duty to look after them. Always remember that.
I have exciting news, worms! From today, You can all Me directly using My new Direct Call feature, whenever I am available.
This is a pre-paid service, which means it puts you in charge of your spend. You simply click the link to sign up to pre-paid service, top up your account with the amount you wish to spend and call! It's that easy!
Calls cost just £1 per minute and are billed very discreetly.
In addition; I now offer a prepaid payment/tribute service. This service can be used to pay for sessions, make a tribute or even pay for personal items I sell on occasion. Simply top up your account and make your payment/or tribute and that's it! If you are using this service to pay for a session, then make sure you advise Me of this in your payment message.